“In this way, every birth is a natural birth: each of us is part of nature, not separate from it, and nature is always stunning in its variety. Your birth, then, is part of the natural world, however it unfolds.”
— Lauralyn Curtis
You have read all the books. You are attending birthing classes. You have carefully selected every item that your new little one will encounter in the first six months of their life. You have the best route to the hospital planned with three alternates…
…and shit will totally hit the fan when the best thing that ever happens to you changes every last thing in your life.
There is something that will help, and it wasn’t on your shower registry.
You need a birth mentor.
“Why? I’m already prepared.”
“But”, you may be thinking, “my partner and I have gone to birthing classes and we have a plan for labor and delivery. My Mom (Auntie Sue, Sister Jane, Friend Carol) is going help out when I get home from the hospital. We are already up to our eyeballs in appointments, thankyouverymuch, ” Well, friend, you may be right, and I hope everything goes totally according to plan, but you may ask around and find out how often everything goes according to plan where there is a baby involved.
“Honey, this is not my first rodeo.”
Maybe this isn’t your first time, and your previous experiences with birth were not ideal, or even traumatic. This time could be different. With the experiential transformation offered by a birth mentor, you will be guided to use your own experience to deepen the trust in your body, and could have the kind of birth you always wanted.
“I’m just going to go to the hospital when it hurts and the doctor will figure it out.”
Or, perhaps you don’t have a birth plan (birth preferences), don’t know what one is, and may be thinking “uhm, my plan is to birth my kid!” Believe it or not, you have more say in how your baby comes into this world than you may have previously been told. This is the age of informed choice! Long gone are the days of our grandmothers who were strapped into stirrups, drugged into unconsciousness, and first saw their babies through the glass of the nursery.
Whatever the setting of your birth, your confidence and expectation of autonomy during the birthing process can seed your confidence as a parent, which you will undoubtedly need. A deep, inner knowing that you are connected to your body and your baby is the currency of powerful birthing experiences that can transform your entire life.
“My partner and I don’t need any help. We are a strong couple and we’ve got this.”
Yes, you are! Loved ones are an invaluable resource during labor and delivery, but when someone we love is experiencing a series of intense sensations, we typically don’t feel calm and encouraged when those sensations come ever more frequently and become more intense. This is exactly the progression in normal labor.
In such a situation, a couple needs to able to access real experiences of working together in harmony, the birthing person secure in the knowledge that their partner will provide a consistent, calm, soothing presence amidst the trials of labor. “Perfect practice makes perfect”, and a birth mentor can help you create your perfect practice paradigm
“I already have a doula, why do I need a mentor?”
As a former birth and postpartum doula, there is absolutely no substitute for the relationship with the right doula during the birthing year. Full stop. No ifs ands or buts about it. Some doulas, as I did, offer enriched packages with education, bodywork, Yoga, workshops, etc, and some are expert just at attending your birth and that is the extent of what the deal includes.
Birth mentors work with the pregnant person, partner, and the whole birthing team, collaborating all resources to maximize comfort and family harmony. In other words, many hands make light work, and in the birthing year, there is so much to do, learn, integrate, and enjoy.
Or maybe you already know a birth doula is not for you, and you have enjoyed the benefits of a coach or mentor in the past to help you get the most out of your performance, relationships, or career. Mentorship throughout the birthing year can strengthen the parental bonds to each other and with their baby(ies).
"So, how do I choose the right mentor for me?"
I’m so glad you asked! The relationship between a pregnant couple and a mentor is intimate, and your intuition is a great tool to recruit for selection. And yet, never underestimate the power of knowledge. Gathering information from various sources and exploring your options will put you in a position to feel rock solid about your birth team.
Go with your gut.
Right from the start, a good mentor encourages feelings of confidence and trust within the birthing couple. If you don’t feel an immediate accord with this person, listen to your inner guide and evaluate where that feeling (or lack thereof) is coming from. This person will offer guidance and support you at one of the most vulnerable and powerful times of your life, and you want to feel confident about your choice.
Choose the best package.
Often mentors will bundle services together that can save you money and guarantee continuity of care. Typically, you will meet with a coach for a consultation where you find out if you are a good match. My programs are customized to each couple, so we’ll also discuss what you want to achieve and get creative about your vision for the best possible birth.
But what else does a mentor provide? Do they specialize in another area of care for the birthing year? Is zie certified in another perinatal area like pre/postnatal yoga? Does zie offer extended postpartum mentor services? Lactation counseling? Bodywork? Infant massage? It’s certainly important to choose the mentor of your dreams with your heart and your head, but looking out for the best deal doesn’t hurt either. Finding a mentor who can bring together many of the services you are looking for could deepen your relationship and improve your wellness outcomes.
When you do find the right mentor, sleep on it. Your dreams, and first impressions upon waking after an important meeting, are powerful messages from the deepest parts of yourself, and maybe even from helpers, ancestors, and guides from beyond. The journey you are on as a parent is unique, even if you go on to have many more little ones, no pregnancy and birth will be quite like this one.
Honor yourself, your baby, and your growing family by choosing a mentor.
You won’t regret it.
“Why would I choose you? What makes you different from the others?”
The events of your birth will challenge you beyond your current understanding of your ability to cope. You will grow and evolve to meet these challenges, before the very eyes of those fortunate enough to know you through this journey. I hold this process in deep reverence. It’s a rite of passage that prepares you for parenthood. I have no desire to rescue you from this process.
My role is to use my skills to help you make the best use of your energy to meet the challenge. I believe in you and trust that you will do this. While I see myself as part of your team, ultimately this triumph will be yours.
I know that parents have a keen intuition about how to best meet the needs of their own babies, and I trust that their bodies have wisdom that must be honored.
As a mentor, I am not in the business of telling parents what to do! I hear your voice, support your plan, and believe in your dreams. The goals we co-create to maximize your wellness are my roadmap to success.
I’m a mom, an eternal student, and a woman called to serve. I am passionate about supporting families as they grow, helping to provide a nourishing atmosphere from the roots to the shoots!
Create Your Perfect Mama Support Plan Today!
Step 1: Email or call to schedule an interview.
Step 2: Meet to build the Support Plan that meets your family’s needs.
Step 3: Enjoy the optimal conditions for family bonding and healing.
Find your new family balance, with support.
My Story
I like to think that I’ve always been on the path that would lead me here, but there were some distinct signposts along the way.
The Business of Being Born
Many years ago, I saw Ricki Lake’s documentary film, The Business of Being Born, and I immediately knew I wanted to be involved in the movement to normalize pregnancy and birth. At the time, I didn’t know what that role would be, and life took me in a very different direction for a while, but when my partner and I made the decision to invite a brand-new human into our lives, I knew I wanted to have a midwife-attended home birth.
My first born
(heard in the voice of Sophia Petrillo) “Picture it: San Francisco, 2016, Michael Strahan had just left Live! With Kelly and Michael, and I was birthing my baby in a tub on my living room floor.”
I knew that I wanted to have my baby at home and that I would need to be attended by a midwife to do this safely. I interviewed several midwives and chose the one that I felt most confident about. She had no children of her own (a fact that has since changed {!!!}), but she was young and brilliant and I felt safe with her.
denial
At our first official visit, she asked me if I had chosen my doula yet, and I said “oh, well my husband and I are quite well prepared, read all the books, ya see, and we don’t think we’ll need someone else.”
“Ah,” she said, “well, here’s why I strongly suggest hiring a doula”, and went on to explain to me that doctors and midwives are not birth companions, but medical professionals. They are busy evaluating readings taken by nurses and machines, primarily concerned with technical tasks, not comfort measures. She made very clear that I would need the support of a trained person to make the most of the experience. *At that time, birth mentoring was not a thing, but in retrospect I wish I would have had the support of a mentor in addition to the wonderful doula I had chosen, who happened to be quite young, childfree, and very inexperienced. I felt right with her, and I wouldn't have wanted to trade her in for someone more knowledgeable, but would have been well-served by an addition to my team in the person of a birth mentor.*
anger
I must admit, I was upset. First, I had just put down a significant chunk of change on this midwife, and now she was telling me I had to hire someone else?! Did she think my husband and I couldn’t do this together because this was our first time? Or did I seem particularly needy? I grudgingly took her list of suggested practitioners in the area and didn’t look at it again for a while.
bargaining
I did some research to independently verify if my midwife was right; short version, she was. But that didn’t stop me from having hours of conversation with my husband about comfort measures, massage, a birthing tub, herbs, candles, chants, animal sacrifice, was there any way we could get out of hiring a doula? According to all my books and sources, a doula was the clear choice.
I was angry that I was going to have to bring another stranger into my birthing process and disappointed that the beautiful fantasy I had of my man and I working together as a duo to “finish what we started” was crumbling. I did not want to hire a doula. *Truly, I think a birth mentor would have been an easier sell to my pregnant self, as a person who had benefitted from academic mentorship in the past, I would have implicitly understood the value. Alas, no such profession was known to me at the time.*
depression
I halfheartedly started Googling around and found out very quickly that the kind of help we wanted was not going to come cheap, and many of the packages offered included things we were not interested in. I began to despair of ever finding a doula and almost gave up.
acceptance
Then, like a ray of inspiring sunlight from above, I recalled the list my midwife gave to me! I scrabbled around in my purse and found it, a bit crumpled and greasy, but legible. Two of the three names on the list were out of our price range, but the third woman was new to the field and asked a price we could afford.
At last we met for an interview, and the dynamic between the three of us felt right. We signed a contract, she recommended some books for us to work with, and we scheduled our meetings.
Over the next couple of months, using the books and other resources from our newly hired doula, we came up with our birth plan, discussed comfort measures, dreamed of the perfect birth, and openly discussed our hopes and fears about the birth process and parenting. *While incredibly helpful, we only met a couple of times and didn't get into any of the deeper questions, relationship dynamics between my partner and I, etc. She brought them up as things to be aware of, but we didn't do anything with that information, just made note of it. A mentor could have helped us go deeper and explore solutions toward healing generational trauma and existing relationship patterns that could make parenting more difficult.*
When the big day arrived, she was right there, making sure I stayed hydrated, she fed me, communicated with the midwife, made food for my husband, massaged my feet, took our dog out to pee, talked with me about everything under the sun while I labored on the toilet, let me crush her hands to powder while I was in transition (an especially powerful time in labor), and was generally invaluable to us throughout the entire process.
The next day, she came back to check on us, made another meal, steeped some healing herbs to put in my squeeze bottle (an absolute necessity for post-delivery peeing), and chatted with us about the birth. She came back two other times to chat, see how I was feeling, how breastfeeding was progressing, and to bask in the love glow of a new mama and baby. She cleaned the kitchen, made a small meal, and attended to some other household things before we parted ways.
In hindsight, it was regrettable that I didn’t take up her offer to continue coming by for help, but I was a first-timer and had no idea how exhausted my husband and I would be for the next few weeks.
If we ever get the chance to bring another beautiful new soul into the world, trust and believe we will have a postpartum package arranged and on lock well in advance of the due date!
Infinity and Beyond!
Fast-forward to today, and I have found myself in a place where I can pick up this beautiful thread I put down many years ago, and finally weave it into the fabric of my life. Using my education in counseling, psychology, child development, bodywork, and training from DONA (birth and postpartum), CLEC, Pam England, Jane Austin, Carole Osborne, International Loving Touch Foundation, The Gottman Institute, and many others, I am honored and humbled to offer myself as a mentor for people on the path to parenthood and families in expansion!
The facts of my child’s birth are sacred to me because it happened to me, not because it happened in my home or in the water. Birth is sacred wherever and however it happens. Whether a planned cesarean birth, a home birth, or while driving down the highway, the most important aspect is the respect and support the parents receive during the entire process. It would be my great privilege and sincere pleasure to serve as your birth mentor.
Birth Mentorship Programs
Think of birth mentorship with me as everything you need leading up to the birth, and an opportunity to share your birth story with someone who can help you solidify the experience in your body as one of strength, power, and purpose. Critically, we focus on the relationship dynamics within your birth team and how to troubleshoot/maximize those dynamics to best support your experience, and nurture those relationships you want to be long-lasting.
6 sessions $750
(5) before the birth & (1) after
10 sessions $1000
(8) before the birth & (2) after
Birth Doula Packages
The Works
- Education is an essential part of preparation. Included in this package are up to (10) hours of individualized, private birth, lactation, and newborn care education offered in your home* or my office, whichever is more comfortable for you.
- We will meet twice before the birth to plan and practice for the big day (or night, as is usually the case). Ideally, one of these meetings will be the tour of the birth center or hospital where you plan to birth.
- (2) 90-minute prenatal massage sessions in your home* or in my office. (CAMTC#78434) Additional massage packages can be purchased at any time.
- I am on-call for the “birth month”, two weeks before your estimated due date and two weeks after.
- Two aftercare sessions are included. Typically, I visit you the next day, either in hospital or at home, and another session at home after that.
- (1) 60-minute Postpartum massage in your home or in my office, offered between weeks 3 and 6.
- As a CLEC, I am trained to assist you to establish breastfeeding, troubleshoot common issues, and help get you in touch with other lactation resources, if necessary.
- Additional postpartum packages may be purchased before or after baby’s arrival. Early booking is suggested to secure your spot.
This package is offered at $1900, made payable in full by week 36. An initial deposit of $950 is required at the time of agreement.
The Standard
- Up to (8) hours of individualized, private birth, lactation, and newborn care education offered in your home* or my office, whichever is more comfortable for you.
- We will meet twice before the birth to plan and practice for the big day (or night, as is usually the case).
- (1) 90-minute prenatal massage session in your home (CAMTC#78434). Additional massage packages can be purchased at any time.
- I am on-call for the “birth month”, two weeks before your estimated due date and two weeks after.
- One aftercare session is included, scheduled between 24 and 72 hours after baby's arrival.
- (1) 60-minute Postpartum massage in your home* or in my office, offered between weeks 3 and 6.
- As a CLEC I am trained to assist you to establish breastfeeding, troubleshoot common issues, and help get you in touch with other lactation resources, if necessary.
- Additional postpartum packages may be purchased before or after baby’s arrival. Early booking is suggested to secure your spot.
This package is offered at $1600, made payable in full by week 36. An initial deposit of $800 is required at the time of agreement.
Additional Services
Birth Preparation Education
Pam England wrote that the most important thing a pregnant person needs to know is “What is it I need to know to give birth?” If it seems like the answer to that question is a question, you are absolutely right! Only you know what you need to give birth to this baby. At our free consultation, we can co-create the perfect birth education course for you, focusing on the information you want, delivered on your time, and in a place that is convenient for you.
Whether you are scheduled for a cesarean birth or have just hired the midwife attending your home birth, we can tailor a course to meet your individual needs.
Depending on breadth and depth of information desired, this service is offered between $400 and $600.
Lactation and Newborn Care Education
As a Certificated Lactation Educator Counselor and DONA-trained postpartum doula, I offer a fun and informative course to prepare you for the arrival of your new little one! This course can be given in a private or small group setting. Learning baby's cues and how to respond to them will be a dance you and your baby perfect together, and having a solid base from which to start makes a huge difference as your relationship transitions from "inside to outside".
This 4-hour course is offered at $150, given in (2) 2-hour sessions or (1) 4-hour session.
Postpartum Doula
Postpartum sessions are offered in the following packages, to be scheduled in at least 4-hour blocks. :
12 hours $575
24 hours $1100
48 hours $2100
Prenatal and Baby and Me Yoga Sessions
Individual or small group, 75-minute yoga sessions that focus on strengthening body and mind to prepare for the intensity of birth. You are gonna ROCK THIS!
Individual $75
3-6 students $25/student
Once you’re ready and have the OK from your doctor or midwife, let’s get you back on the mat!
Baby and Me yoga sessions are a great way to get to know your body again, and bond with your new little one. And, of course, it’s great to have your doula right there to help you comfort baby while you luxuriate in a yummy supported Savasana.
Baby and Me Yoga Sessions
Individual $75
3-6 students $25/student
Infant Massage Parent Course
A growing body of evidence supports using intentional touch to promote bonding, healing, learning, and cognitive development in infants. Learn to massage your baby in (3) sessions, usually around 90-minutes each to allow for naps, feedings, changing, etc. Course must be paid in-full and sessions scheduled at time of purchase. 24-hours notice for rescheduling required to avoid missed classes. Please see Infant Massage Page for details.